1/19/2003
So i was on a flying boat and i realized "WHOA i was born on the canadian american boarder" yes its true, that means my left arm is Canadian and the rest of me is AMERICAN. now i live in Ulaan Baatar, Mongolia. THIS ALL withing California. so i am flying in my boat to the north pole when all of a sudden there is a huge blizzard of hampsters and i make a crash landing. THEN i heard a noise and i walked towards the noise and i saw guitar playing polar bears. rotten blue men jumped out of the snow and started chasing me, damn abdominal snomen ILL **** ON U ALL!!! The penguins heard this and started chasing after me too, damn tuxedo birds. Then all of a sudden the wild killer parrots came and killed the penguins and abdominal snomen and ate them alive. As i approached the guitar playing polar bears i noticed they had kegs by them, inside these kegs were trapped midgets, HAHA MIDGET N A KEG, AHAHAHA. so anyways i told the polar bears that GRIZZLIES are better and they got pissed and hit a button on the back of their guitars and KABOOM the kegs had exploded and out came the midgets, OH NO! These midgets were walking around kinda groggy and uncoordinated but with shanks in their hands and they WERE COMING CLOSER TO ME. so i had to think real quick and it was really cold so i had to take a leak so i urinated up into the air and it froze before it hit the ground and i caught it. NOW I GOT A KICKASS URINESICLE STICK. these midget bastards are goin down, and not on me :-x for some reason they were walking single file so i just chucked my urinesicle spear stick and it impaled all of them as it stuck through their chests, muahaha damn midgets. now the polar bears were defensless, what is a polar bear going to do to me? i got them big white hampsters owned. yes its true polar bears are just big white hampsters, maybe if u are lucky u will see some at ur local pet store. so then out of nowhere i saw some conga line turtles dancing away and i was like wait a minute what are they doing here. they told me to stfu and kicked me in the nuts, ouch! so so so i had to find a way away from the north pole so i asked the conga line dancing turtles if they could help me, and this time they said "sure we will help u ****" and i said "what im not a ****" and they said "ok whatever u say sweetcheeks" and they picked me up on their shoulders as they conga lined over some hills into this hidden bunker full of pink talking kamakazi bunnies. inside they all had these little bunny planes and the turtles kicked me in the nuts again and ditched me. so i had convinced one of the bunnies to fly me back home but only if i had promised to give him the box of Trix cereal in my backpack, he said "Trix are for kids my ***" and devoured the whole box. so he flies me and we get close to home and i tell him where to land and he is like "nuh uh, im a kamakazi bunny, im gonna blow something up, that IN-N-OUT restaraunt looks nice" and im like "NOOOOOOOO" SO im fighting with the bunny trying to make him land and not crash and he stabs me with a carrot as we fly over in n out and he is like "damn u made me miss my target" and then i see him going straight for a billboard Kangaroo Jack, and he is like "i hate that #$^@&*! movie!" so i jump out and i fall into a ORANGE JULIUS stand, and i hear a BOOOOOOM as the plane explodes. mmmm orange julius
Quagmire WST