7/17/2004
1. There's a police report in a Washington D.C. newspaper today that details a domestic disturbance call. A woman with red lip stick on the outside of her lips instead of one her lips was seen walking around the house on her hands and drinking out of a dog bowl." The report claims that as they approced the door they heard barking and a man yelling "down sparkey, bad dog sparkey". Police asked the man if it was allright to search his home. The man agreed and let them in. As they searched the house they found a small doggie door hidden behind some clothes in a closet. They got down on their knees and crawled through the door and were shocked at what they found in this hidden room. There were 12 candles in a circle with a vodoo doll in the center with the word "FBi" written on it. Several labels wrapped around some needles which were stuck in the doll were also found to say something but the police have not determined the meaning yet. The words were on the label said "fight, trip, make fun of, pants, and indimidate." At this point the police have detained the woman for questioning and we have no further details on the matter at this time.
2. George Bush came out today and predicted that the fellow Texan Lance Armstrong would win the Tour De France. Democratic front runner John Kerry also decided to support Lance's reasons for going to war, I mean France. Meanwile as Lance is gaining ground on the yellow rider, his tire blew out. Some drunken russian intelligence official claims to have seen a man with a towel on his head placing nails on the road. Due to delays of the investigation by Germany and France, the evidence was all cleaned up before anyone arrived. In a sudden shift of policy from earlier in the day, Kerry now criticizes the US Postal team for not finding the....... weapons........of.......umm.....bike destruction.
3. On another note, SubZero had an outburst during court today because of that woman who is still trying to sue him for pain and suffering resulting from his singing on pal talk. During the outburst Sub yelled "I seriously want to kill that hag, I seriously want to kill that hag, cuz im a crazy ass motherfucker and ill do it, i want to fuck his family up, i want to fuck her mother up, her father up, and make her drink from a straw."
4. I have decided that Flirtygal and Michael Jackson have a lot in common. They both like to sing, they both have funny accents, and they are both confused. Michael can't decide whether he's black or white and Flirtygal can't decide whether the "e" comes before the other "p" or whether its actually an "s" before after the "t". So she just decided to keep them both.
5. If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pick up trucks fire an infiinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually create the worlds greatest literary works in braille.
6.9 <---- As I stated the other day, this is a 69 interupted by a period.....ewww....
7. Boots recently went to one of his favorite bands concerts. He discovered that banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories and 300 brain cells every 5 minutes he listens to that crap.
8. Foxy named herself Foxy, would that imply that she's conceited?
9. Revelations and oNe Speculation occuring oNce Daily will eventually drive me crazy, but im determined not to be lazy.
10. The other night Shadow Angel was telling me about gray men standing outside of her door. She said they were aliens. That's when I realized that if she really does become an architect, we will all be living in a giant potato shaped like the star trek enterprise.
9E HinaKentoKer